[{"show":"Scrubs","character":"Janitor","text":"[The Janitor sprays a window with blue cleaning fluid and wipes it. He then aims the spray in his mouth. Dr. Kelso takes a second look as he passes by.] \nJanitor: I filled it with blue Gatorade. I just do that to freak people out.\nDr. Kelso: Scintillating."},{"show":"Home Improvement","character":"Al","text":"Al: Boy, it was awfully nice of you to invite me down for coffee. You haven't done that in a long time. Or ever.\nTim: I thought it'd give us a good chance to talk.\nAl: Oh, yeah? About what?\nTim: Mothers.\nAl: Oh, no. No. Oh, boy, I should've seen this one coming. You invited me down here to make fun of my mother.\nTim: No.\nAl: OK, well, what's it gonna be today? More fat jokes? Oh, you've already done all those. How about her perspiration problem? Or maybe the way her jowls sway. Or how about the way the skin under her arms wobble?"},{"show":"Modern Family","character":"Cameron","text":"Cameron: Oh, hey, Gloria. Listen, I called Jay about borrowing a drill for my dresser handles.\nJay: I got it right here, Cam! Oh, jeez. What's with the getup?\nGloria: Ay, good. You see that, too?\nJay: Stella, stop. Ay, shh, shh, shh.\nGloria: Sorry, Cam.\nCameron: Oh, no, don't be. I take it as a compliment. [hisses at Stella] \"Cats\" - now and forever. Actually, just till next Thursday. It's been described as \"transcendent.\""}]