[{"show":"Seinfeld","character":"Kramer","text":"Elaine: Jerry saw this guy crash into a car, and he followed him.\nKramer: Good for you! What kind of a sick lowlife would do a thing like that? You know those people, you know they're mentally disturbed. They should be sent to Australia.\nJerry: Australia?\nKramer: Yeah. Yeah, that's where England used to send their convicts.\nJerry: But not anymore.\nKramer: No."},{"show":"The Goldbergs","character":"Murray","text":"Murray: But seriously, why do we have to invite him every year?\nBeverly: Because Marvin's your brother and the only family you've got?\nMurray: No. I've got you. I've got whats-her-name. I got the two morons in the basement. I'm good. "},{"show":"Malcolm in the Middle","character":"Dewey","text":"Dewey: Malcolm, Malcolm, in school, we learned the coolest thing. There were these people who did this broadcast and convinced everyone that aliens were landing. So, what we do is we wait for Reese to fall asleep, then we flash some lights outside his window, and we go to the TV, but we'll have made a tape...\nMalcolm: Dewey, you're totally overthinking this. [shouts] Reese, aliens landed down the street!\n[Reese runs out with a baseball bat and a helmet]\nReese: Every man for himself!\nDewey: Oh."}]